i'm not a valedictorian, but i play one on tv

oh, my. after kathryn's comment on the last entry, i feel almost guilty revealing what the big secret was. sorry, it had nothing at all to do with lap-dancing, though some of the women there might have been prepared to do it... oh, bad visual imagery. ok, what did i do on wednesday night? i went to an open call audition for a bollywood flick that is going to be shot in melbourne. as i said in the last post, i wasn't expecting to come away with a part in the film or anything - i took it more as an opportunity to observe, and maybe base a standup routine (or portion thereof) on. i seriously felt ill the afternoon before it was on, and i couldn't work it out for ages, then it dawned on me; while i thought i was pretty comfortable with the fact that i probably wouldn't get picked, a very tiny little part of me wanted to get the role. i remember when i was a child, i used to watch these movies and think 'well, they don't actually have to do the singing, and i can cry on cue - i could be a bollywood starlet!'. it's like the indian version of being 'discovered'.

anyway. there were a heap of people there for a handful of parts, some with intriguing titles such as 'stunning girl 1' and 'stunning girl 2' (both were to be 'australian girls, tall, lanky, leggy and very beautiful'), & 'cashier at gas station' ('bored looking middle aged indian man'). i went for a part that called for 'a very indian, arty looking girl'. i reckoned the green square spec frames would take care of the 'arty' bit for me till i got there and met this other chick who had funky purple ones. and she was actually from india, hence spoke better hindi than me...

anyhoo. for my actual audition they took a closeup and a longshot picture, and then asked me to talk about myself directly to camera - and to speak in hindi 'as much as you can, but don't stress out about it'. result - i said about three lines out of thirty in hindi. anyway, i come out of the audition and bump into my purple-framed nemesis, so i ask her how her audition went. she said pretty much what i'd been through, except instead of getting her to rabbit on about herself, they asked her to answer a specific question - 'what do you think the role of women is in india today?'. hmmm. i don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing... after the audition was over, i went off to dinner with my husband and some friends like a good little indian, and savoured a char-grilled porterhouse like the lapsed hindu that i am. i'll keep you posted on progress (on the part, not the steak). by the way, i have been intentionally vague on details because i'm saving all the juicy (and made up) bits for my next standup routine.

oh, before i go, i'l tell you about something else that happened - i got recognised again, by this australian girl who was in the queue behind us. we were all chatting, and she goes 'i feel like i know you from somewhere.' mark had apparently seen her at drumming at the stage bar - turns out she did african dance classes - so we thought that was it. then she goes, 'no, i feel like i've had a conversation with you...'. hmm. in situations like this, i don't really like bringing it up, cause i'm afraid i'll ask 'well, do you go to much standup comedy?', and the other person will go, 'no, why?', and i'll be left having to explain, resulting in my feeling like a bit of a toolbag. but after she said the conversation bit, i thought it would be safe to ask her, and it turns out she did. she saw me at my first or second gig at the evelyn back in november 2003, and she remembered me. i told her about the next gig at the local of the 31st, and i really hope she turns up. (just in case you are reading this and want more info, click the 'reality: my website' link at the top of the page, and click on through to the gig guide). choice!